Welcome to my world. I *just* vacuumed... Wipe your feet before you come in.

Monday, January 21, 2008

Let's hear it for the BOY!!

First off, let me just say, SURPRISE!!!

I am thrilled and honored to be invited to Julie’s Virtual baby shower.

We’re supposed to post little story/anecdote/tips about raising a boy-child. Since Julie IS a girl and has 2 daughters, there’s a little stress regarding the care & maintenance of a boy and his bits. Here are a few things you’ll need to know:

Yes. Boys and girls are different. In every way, shape and form. Not better or worse, just different. Maggie & Will are like night and day, with the exception that if you happen to lie on the floor, you become fair game. I was picking up the toys one night, and noticed a Polly Pocket shoe under the end table. I lay down on my belly to reach under the table & was immediately set upon by two screaming banshees. I guess it’s my own fault for letting them get hooked on WWE FRIDAY NIGHT SMACKDOWN, but DAMN! That Batista is Hott.

I, personally, have never been peed on by Will. Maggie has given me 2 golden showers. I guess when girls get out of the tub & the air is a little chilly…..the towel just isn’t enough to soak up the pee. He has, however, peed on the bathroom floor while we were waiting for the tub to fill. We have since adopted the “no-naked-baby-while-water-is-running-rule” in the house. Plus you can usually tell when a boy has to go. Yep, even the little guys get the “pee-pee hard-on”

Toys: Boys Toys are so much more fun than girls. Unless you really enjoy a cup of pretend tea & a plastic cookie on a teeny, tiiiny little chair.
Boys have the trucks, and the planes and the robots and balls. Oh! The balls! Will can barely run 10 feet without tripping over his big ol feet, but give him a ball and he will happily kick it all over the house.
A girl will grab a teddy bear & give it a big, squishy hug. A boy will grab a teddy bear & give it a good, hard, shake. Then a hug.
A girl will push a toy car back & forth saying, “broom, brrrrooom, Beep beep!” A boy will pick up the car, bang it on the glass top of your coffee table and yell at the top of his lungs. A girl will find a stick and stir her pretend soup with it. A boy will shoot you with it.

Clothes: Ok, the girls get this one. Boys clothing is just no fun to shop for. Sure, the first pair of jeans is sweet and they look so cute in their first little Hawaiian print shirt, but after that, meh.
Yes, you can find some funny t-shirts and really neat shoes, but for the most part, your boy is going to live in Osh*Kosh overalls and you will love the fact that yes, you *can* pick them up by the backs of the overalls.

BabyBits: I was a little leery with first few times changing Will. I actually had to call Joe in & ask him how far back to push the foreskin while cleaning his bits. Hey, I’ve never had foreskin to clean around, what do I know?

The Lovin’: Oh, the Lovin’. Will is a boy’s boy. He’s a rough & tumble kind of kid. If you ask for a kiss, nine times out of ten, he will say, “Neh”. But let him fall off of his trike, or Maggie knocks him over, and he will run to Mama and hold his arms up while standing on his tippy-toes. As soon as I scoop him up, the tears stop and he snuggles into my shoulder with his chubby little hands wrapped around the back of my neck, and he whispers, “Mama, awwww-aaaa-aaaww, yuv-ooo” and I just melt.

Congrats Julie, on the impending birth of the one guy who will love you his entire life, no questions asked.

I can hardly wait to “meet” him.


Edge said...

Ya, I remember my nephew used to surprise my sister now and then during a diaper change.

I think boys are easier to raise emotion wise, but harder to keep healthy. They jump off of roofs and such.

When you get older you have to worry about girls getting pregnant.

I like my little girl but all that emotional mine field stepping is always a pain.

And I'm all for circumcision.


Mama Drama Jenny, the Bloggess said...

"A boy will shoot you with it."


Mayberry said...

You're so right -- the overalls DO come in handy for that last-second grab as they run away to who knows where.

mamacheryl said...

It's so true about shaking the teddy bears. They tend to be a bit rough. When we gave my son a baby doll to play with in preparation for the arrival of his little sister, the dolly had her head in the toilet well before he fed her a bottle. Then, the dolly became a feature on the back of his little motorcycle. Rarely the lovey-dovey "I'm the Mama" play of little girls.

mothergoosemouse said...

Cat, this compare-and-contrast is *awesome*. I'm especially looking forward to having some boy-centric toys around here, because you're right - girl-centric toys can be a real snooze.

Thank you for the kind words and encouragement!

OvaGirl said...

But at least the books are the same and there are some great ones out there that little boys and little girls love equally. Maisy, Spot, Hairy Maclary, Commotion In The Ocean (even though I hate it is still on high rotation)Hug,Moo Baa La La La, Hooray For Fish....

Christy said...

I cannot believe that Will hasn't pissed on you. I have already been peed on about 50 times.