Welcome to my world. I *just* vacuumed... Wipe your feet before you come in.

Monday, February 06, 2006

Little Pitchers

Ok, so Saturday morning, I took the car to Meineke.  2 ½ hours later, we drive off $189.00 poorer, but not getting “looks” from pedestrians.  I can hardly get over the fact that the guy quoted me 175.00, I had expected 200.00 so I figured I got off easy.  After getting Maggie into the car seat and getting myself all buckled in, I looked at the receipt.  HE CHARGED ME 99.00 FOR LABOR!!!  The PART was only $69.00.  My car was on the lift for no longer than 20 minutes.  If I could have just bought the part I would have taken it to my mechanic & he would have done the labor for 50 bucks!!  DAMMIT!!

Then Maggie & I go out to the Baby Supermart to look for a “big girl bed”.  There were a few really pretty ones, but I have this picture in my head of what I want.  Now I just have to go find it.  I decide we’ll try Raymour & Flanigan’s (nothing in my price range) and then Babies-R-us (just cribs, no beds) While driving around in the rain after theoretically throwing $50.00 bucks out the window, with a little girl in the back seat who is getting tired and a bit….shall we say, cranky?? Not finding what I wanted the first time, I was not a happy girl.

While leaving the store, you take your life into your hands if you try to make a left hand turn onto Baltimore Pike.  So, being the cautious type, I make a right & figure I’d just turn around in Tar-jay parking lot.  As I’m making my turn to get back into the lane to leave the lot, a woman talking on her cell, driving with NO LIGHTS ON cuts me off leaving me sitting virtually in the middle of an intersection.  I have cars bearing down on me from both sides.  One guy even has the balls to beep at me.  I gave him the “Glare of Death” and he sort of sort of shrugged at me and sheepishly gave me the “Oh, I’m sorry” hands up gesture.  

Later that evening Joe decides he’s going to take Maggie up to the police station with him so he can turn in his hours for the week.   He comes back home & stands her on the coffee table & asks her, “What does Mommy say in the car?”  To which Maggie, my little angel faced precious baby girl responds, “FUTTIN BITCH!!” followed by  “C’MON DUDE!  WHATTHEHELLSYOURPROBLEM?”

I’m blaming the pregnancy horror-mones for my road rage.

:::SIGH:::  Mom always said, “Little pitchers have big ears”  

Now I know what she meant by that.  


E said...

Oh.My.God. I LOVE it!!! That is the funniest thing ever! I can't stop laughing! My sister's first phrase (would she have a first word? NOoooooo, she gives em a whole phrase.. sigh) was, "God damned dog." Swear to God. Ahhh, from the mouths of babes.

DD said...

Oh no! So it begins. I would've loved to have seen the look on daddy's face with that one.

We have been a picture of perfection here. I don't know how we have managed so far, but the worst I've heard X say is, "Cmon LADY!"

Melissa said...

When I was little it was "Futchin Bith!"

My mom was just as excited to hear it!

lala said...

That is too funny!

The Queen Mama said...

Bwa-ha-haaaa! Funny because it's so true, and we've all done it. Haven't we? Well, I have, anyway. Oops.

t_cole said...

too good.
i remember the first time my second child said shit.
i called my mom and told her, "The Party's Over..."
kids - just like a computer -
garbage in - garbage out.

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