Welcome to my world. I *just* vacuumed... Wipe your feet before you come in.

Friday, January 13, 2006

A WORD OF ASSVICE ;)




Do NOT eat approximately 20 prunes at one sitting.  
I couldn’t help it. They were so sweet and full of chewy goodness.
I was reading a Lisa Scottoline novel (Mistaken Identity) she’s a local gal, you know.  Born & bred in Philly.   When I read, I MUST have a bowl of something next to me.  I should have chosen the box of Fiddle Faddle.  

I went to bed at 11, awoke at 1:22 with the most intense gas pains you would EVER want to experience in your life; shuffled into the bathroom in the most ungainly bent over position with my hands clutching at my swollen, rumbly belly.  My GOD!  Talk about having your breath taken away.  I thought for sure my “issues” were finally at an end (HA HA! An “end”  get it??).  Nope.  After 10 minutes I gave up & went back to bed.  

I did dream about going.  In fact, when the alarm went off this morning, Joe asked me how I felt & I replied, good.  He asked if I was all emptied out & I answered in the affirmative.  When I finally rolled out of bed & went into the bathroom to shower, I realized that I hadn’t gone in the middle of night.  It was just a dream.  A lovely, gratifying evacuation dream.  After my coffee, I decided to give it another try.  That’s another good thing about coffee.  It really gets you “going”.  At least me, it does.

So, just in case you were at all curious, and if so, eewwwww, (kidding) yes I was able to make “poopie on the potty”.  Maggie tells me that I was a good girl, that Daddy will be so proud of me; AND  when we went downstairs for breakfast, she gave me a sheet of her STICKERS!!  I was also told that I could wear big girl panties today.  Whew!  That’s a good thing. Some day, I hope to be able to use the bathroom by myself again.  

I will still make sure to up my water intake, STOP the vitamins (Dr K has approved this) increase my fruits & veggies and stop at the drug store on the way home for a box of 4 x 4 gauze pads & a bottle of witch hazel.


6 comments:

K&M said...

Glad to hear everything came out ok.

(giggles)

And what a sweetie pie to share her stickers with you!

Dawn said...

One time, I "went" in my sleep, in the bed. I wasn't drunk and I was an adult. It was horrifying.

And big girl panties do make everything OK.

t_cole said...

LMAO
glad this is behind you. hehehehe
tucks are good too. and easier

be well!!!

DD said...

Your going to have a looooong 2nd and 3rd trimester if you don't come up with a better plan than that!

If it wasn't for the tots (tots not trots) we would probably not be so forthcoming, as it were, with bodily functions, would we?

Kate W. said...

Glad to hear about this mornings "out come!" I agree with dd, you are going to need a better "plan." Water intake and fruit is a good start though! What will happen next? I am on the edge of my seat! :)
PS I love Lisa Scottoline books too!

The Queen Mama said...

Yay! What a good girl you are, making poopie on the potty! Maggie was such a sweetie to share her stickers. Am sending you some cyberstickers myself, right this very now. ;-)

Big girl panties? Are those the same as granny panties?