So, last night after I put Maggie to bed, Joe & I are sitting on the couch watching Commander In Chief, when out of the blue he turns to me & says, "So, when are your fields going to be ready for planting?"
Well, as creative as that may be, I didn't find it funny, or romantic, or even mildly amusing.
Everywhere I look, there are PREGNANT women!! I can't even watch the news without thinking about my fertility or lack thereof.
Of the 3 local tv stations here in the Philly 'burbs, there are 3 or 4 pregnant women. Most of them are the Meteorologists... whats up with that???
I think Sally Ann Mosey just doesn't look "right" unless she's pregnant.
I really thought that the miscarriage wasn't going to affect me like this. I thought I could handle this by myself. I went through the whole miscarriage alone (my choice) We were down the shore when the bleeding started. Joe packed up & drove me straight to the hospital at home. Once we got to the ER, I made him go home with Maggie. It was about 8 pm & she was getting tired, so I told him that HOME would be the best place for her. I was able to call him a few times to keep him updated on the situation: heading down to radiology now... 5wk fetal pole (I was 9 wks at that time) no heartbeat, D&E scheduled for later tonight... By the time the "associate-on-call" got around to me, (There was a delivery) it was almost 3 in the morning. The E.R. nurse & the OB kept commenting on how "strong" I was being to do this alone. Truth is, I didn't WANT the people I love to see me crying & weeping like a basket-case. I know if I called my mom she would have been there. At 3 A.M.
Joe would have called his mom to sit at the house while he came back to hold my hand. I didn't want to burden anyone with my sadness.
I hope & pray that next month, we can get pregnant & STAY pregnant. I'm not one to dwell on negatives, but I AM 40 years old. Talk about "old eggs"... But then again, "they" say that "40 is the new 30".